AWP hang over

Well, I'm the queen of ambiguity. So, it comes as no surprise that I left AWP feeling inspired and simultaneously discouraged. I mean how could I not be inspired? I was surrounded by hundreds, possibly thousands of writers. People who's mere presence validated my desire to write. They were proof that I wasn't alone...that there are other people outside of UB that are chasing the same dream. And they were all incredibly hopeful. Though, I overheard many expressing fear or doubt about the collapse of the publishing industry and newspapers and peoples' disinterest in reading good work. They were disappointed by the seemingly insatiable demand for what many consider the "trashy, grocery store genre" of books. I saw through this though. They were there. This alone insisted that they wanted to believe that there was still a place for them...for good literature...good writing.

However, I was discouraged by all of those writers! I'm a novice. The realest thing about my writing is my desire to write. Though, now I see that there are thousands of people are there working to the same end. And, as many panelist confirmed, it's hard to get published. The market for good writing, is diminishing. It's becoming increasingly more difficult for authors to compete with reality TV and other mindless pastimes. And, what bothered me most, is that I (yes me) am a part of this disenchanted, less curious population. Yes, I read more than most. But, not as feverishly. Not as intently. Not as exclusively. It seems these days, reading always has to share my attention with something else...

I don't know. I'll take an aspirin, and see how I feel in the morning...