Falling behind

So, it seems that I've fallen behind on my weekly blogging. I believe that this is part and parcel of my - diminishing, but existing - resistance to put myself on display. This probably seems weird, considering that I'm a writer and my goal is to make my work public. However, the separation of my work from me is something that I have always found comfort in. I'm social and can even be outgoing...but, not in a center-of-attention sort of way. I'm not shy and don't try to fade into the background, but I've never been interested in putting myself on display.

Which brings me to the phenomenon of facebook. I've found myself updating my status daily. My status updates used to (and for the most part, still are) abstract and ambiguous. Most often, they share the "status"of my daydreams, flights of fancy or opinion on things going on around me. However, lately, more than once, I've actually updated my physical status. For instance, last week I shared with all of my facebook "friends" that I was picking my little sister up from the airport. That seemed overly self-indulgent and later, I wished I hadn't have been so specific.

Anyway, there are so many ways of putting ourselves on display now. And, I'd rather put my work on display. I think I'm going to aim for less facebook time and more focus on my writing. I'm also looking for more creative ways to use my blog to further my writerly goals.

The Plague of the Lames

I declare that it is ineffectual for men to ignore a woman's message of: "STAY AWAY, I'M NOT INTERESTED." Particularly when it is clearly relayed through body language, facial expression and short, trite responses. Yet, all too often, in spite of all this, some socially inept men insistently and continually pursue women who rest beyond their reach.

I acknowledge that this declaration is neither original nor clever. However, it seems that no matter how many times we women announce this, our gripes fall upon deaf ears. Or, perhaps, since the women who regard this pursuance as unacceptable and bothersome rarely, if ever, find ourselves among such men in social situations. Thus, our cries for help and warnings that our disinclination is not a game of "hard-to-get," but a real message that we'd rather not have your company -- never reach it to the population that needs to hear it. In fact, it is likely that we are merely singing to the choir. We're simply venting to a crowd of men and women who are already in the know.

So, what's left to do? I've tried being polite and engaging in small talk with men who wouldn't have a chance in hell at walking me to the bus stop, let alone taking me out for a date. However, in my experience, such a warm disposition is almost always misconstrued as a welcome mat. Men take my engagement as a sign that they have a chance. Somehow my response that "it is a nice day today," or that "I too, am proud to have Obama as my president," seems to convince some already delusional man that I am attainable.

Now, some have asked how I know right away that a man hasn't a chance in the world. Take a run-in I had with a run-of-the-mill Hustle Man on the subway last week:

Well, for starters we're at the subway station and I'm quietly waiting for the next train, listening to my iPod and leafing through a book. There is a man pacing back and forth peddling CD's and asking anyone if they have an extra transit pass. At this point than I've already surmised that our meeting certainly isn't kismet. On the train, he encroached on my personal space by sitting much too close to me (while ignoring every unspoken social rule because there were other free seats). By this point, you can bet I've gone from being amused by his antics to being annoyed by his ignorance.

And still, he does the unthinkable. He taps me on my thigh. Now I'm pissed. It wasn't necessary to touch me. It isn't acceptable to touch me. I rip my iPod from my ears, and turn and ask the man not to touch me. He starts rambling about how he didn't mean anything and how he just wanted to know how he could make me smile. He went on with the age-old line about how I was too pretty not to smile.

I excused myself and moved to one of the many free seats on the train, turned my music to top volume and ignored the fool until I reached my stop.

The Biggest Loser Antics

So, I have to admit, I've been sucked into watching The Biggest Loser on NBC. From the show's conception, there were things that I didn't like about it. Particularly, the fact that the dangerously, overweight contestants are forced to stand on an enormous scale...without shirts!!! The men are bare chested and the the women wear just a sports bra. They are clearly uncomfortable and embarrassed. My thinking is this: these people are not just slightly overweight. In fact, they've even outgrown the hurtful term "fat." All of the contestants are morbidly obese. We can see this through their clothes. We can see this from a mile away! So, why is it necessary to put them on a scale, scantly clad to make us all more painfully aware of their enormity? It seems cruel and unnecessary. This is all done for the cameras. Dramatic affect.

This is only the first transgression. When a contestant is voted off the show (which to me, is asinine - but, I'll revisit later) the light in the refrigerator, yes REFRIGERATOR with their name on it is turned off to signal their loss. To me, this seems to aim to poke fun at the losing contestant. I mean seriously, is that necessary?

Then, I have a problem with the fact that each week, there is at least one (sometimes more) contestant who is thrown off the show. WHY? In several segments during the show, the viewers and the contestants are told how deadly obesity can be. It's explained that if these contestants don't get their life together and lose the weight, they're destined for an early grave. Then, twenty minutes later, they kick them off the show.

I understand the competition of the show...however, couldn't there still be a "biggest loser," at the end, without them having to leave the "weight-loss ranch?" Wouldn't it be possible to still do weekly weigh-ins, have incentives and prizes...have a lively competition without kicking these people -who are finally fighting for their life -off the ranch?

I don't know. I suppose I should just quit watching the show. But, I can't...I sort of love it!!!

Red Light Blues

So, despite my initial disdain at the idea of a Blackberry, somehow the cosmos came together and I ended up with one. All of my friends had one and insisted that I HAD to have one. It can do everything! It can open attachments (which is admittedly my one of my favorite capabilities of this smart phone), alert you when you received emails, facebook updates and tons of other things.

Now, my gut was against all of this. The idea of everyone being able to reach me so readily made me uneasy. I'm still nostalgic about the days when you left the house and didn't think about who was trying to reach you until you came home and hit the button on the answering machine.

But, I told myself that I could resist. That I could use the phone in moderation. I wouldn't be a slave to this device. That lasted for about a week. Just long enough for me to figure out how that darn thing worked. And then...it was a wrap!

Now, every time I turn around I'm looking at my phone to see if that incessant red light is blinking. And when it isn't, I'm pushing every button...sure that there must be a mistake. It's been entire 5 minutes and someone must have sent me a text, an email, or written on my facebook wall. At minimum, someone must have commented on my status or updated theirs...right? Someone had to have posted a note or shared the fact that they were washing their hair? Walking their dog? Preparing dinner? Shopping? Right...and all of these things matter to me because...

THEY DON'T. They shouldn't! They didn't a short while ago.

I'm putting myself on punishment. I'm using my phone to make and receive calls and to send and receive texts for an entire week. Wish me luck!

The Discovery of Daytime TV

Initially, when I was laid off from my job back in November, all I could think of was all of bad things that accompanied job loss. Like loss of income & health insurance...the perils of looking for a new gig. However, I never imagined that I'd find a new love...DAY TIME TV!!! Good Morning America, Regis and Kelly, The View, People's Court, Ellen, Oprah...what a line up! And I never thought I'd be able to get into these shows. Plus, I don't even have cable. I'm afraid of what could happen if I did! Well, I've had to force myself to turn the TV off just so that I can get something done!

The scary thing is, I was never a big TV watcher before. In fact, I can remember a time where I'd unplug the TV if I needed an extra outlet, b/c it was the least use thing in the room! Luckily, I'm still sticking to the no TV in the bedroom rule...

Moving!

As of May 1st, I'll officially be a resident of Baltimore city! Around this time last year I moved from Catsonville (Baltimore County) to Owings Mills (further north in Baltimore County) and my convenience and contentment went from average to not-so-good.

Owings Mills is great if you want to be within a 2 mile radius of Wal-Mart, Target, Home Depot, Sams Club, BJ's, a lame mall, a couple of movie theaters, various shopping plazas and restaurants...but, if you desire to be able to walk ANYWHERE, you're in the wrong place. I didn't realize how bad it was getting from one place to the next until my car was totaled in December. Since then, I've become very familiar with Baltimore's public transportation...which leaves a lot to be desired!

So, bye-bye Owings Mills! Baltimore, here I come! I can't wait to be able to WALK to school! :)

St. Paul Robber

Well, I was parked on St. Paul last week...right near the corner of Mr. Royal. I just needed to drop of my mid-term project to Jenny's mailbox. Well...it was such a nice day out that a friend and me figured we'd sit outside and have a slice of pizza for lunch. No big deal right? WRONG. By the time I'd returned to the car, some idiot had broken the window out of the driver's side door and stolen my cell phone and some other crap! Arrrggggggh!

Oh well! The phone has been deactivated and Verizon has identified the phone as stolen and won't activate it...so it's of no use to the loser. That makes me smile.